All That Pomp and Circumstance

So much to say, so much to write....but first and most importantly;

My daughter is a college graduate. Yes, Beena- my eldest- graduated today from Adelphi University with a Bachelor of Science degree in Math.

Those were the quickest four years of our lives.

Three thousand undergrads and graduates walked across the stage at Nassau Coliseum. Three thousand brown and gold students switched their tassels from one side to another. Three thousand students cheered when the President of the School congratulated them on being the Class of 2010.

And my Beena was one of them.

Beena, one part of your life has ended, but another, more important part has begun. You have officially become an adult. If you were not going on next year (and this summer) for your Master's, you would be starting to look for a job. A real job.

Such responsibilities to look forward to! And maybe a little scary?

I see only good things for you in the future. Your work ethic is wonderful- who, at the age of fourteen, was running their mother's business for them? You were. You were a full time student and managed to practically run the retail store you've worked in since high school. I have no doubt you'll find a job in a school you love, teaching kids you love. You love putting together lesson plans. Your favorite time of the year was always "back-to-school" because you love school supplies. You were born to teach.

I am so proud of you! Don't be discouraged or afraid to do those adult things you're going to have to do in the future. Daddy and I will always be here to help and guide you when you need us. Please don't think we're crazy. We love you and always want the best for you!

Oh, and thanks for graduating! Since I didn't go to my college graduation, going to yours was extra special to me. And yes, we'll be going to your Master's ceremony same time next year. We wouldn't miss it. We've got this graduation thing down- we know what to expect!

So conGRADulations, graduate! The world is yours- take advantage of it! There is so much out there to experience!

Love you, Beena! Lots and lots and lots. Right? Right! Begub...begub...begub.

Countdown to Christmas #6- Hansel and Gretel, Eat Your Heart Out

The tradition of decorating gingerbread houses at Christmastime began the year our dear dog, Lola, ate the house Zombiegirl decorated at Riesterer's Bakery on a Girl Scout trip. It was left on the dining room table for everyone to look at, then, when our backs were turned, Lola jumped up on the table and finished it off. Licked the plate clean- not a crumb left.

Zombiegirl was so upset my Mom bought a gingerbread house kit and invited Z-girl over to decorate it. They had such a good time, they made it an annual event. Just the two of them. It was the only thing they ever did together.

Last year was bittersweet. Mom asked me to help them, since her tumor had grown so much and was, well, leaking. Her lips were also numb and swollen so she couldn't talk much at that point. She didn't want Z-girl to see her like that, so she wrapped a towel around her neck, made the frosting then let us decorate the little houses- there were three in that kit. We brought them home as usual and put them on top of the wall unit. Hey, we learn quickly.

I didn't even think about the gingerbread decorating thing this year. It was Beena's idea. She said she and Zombiegirl would decorate the house this year if I picked up a kit.

My eldest is turning out so thoughtful.

So we were in Costco the other night and the first thing we see when we walked in were pallets upon pallets of gingerbread house kits. I didn't care how much it was, I was getting it. (It was only $19.95!) Last night, in the middle of my migraine, we started putting together the house.

After a few minutes, it was apparent I wasn't needed.


Beena and Z-girl put the house and tree together and decorated it with icing, gumdrops, jellybeans and jaw breakers. This sweet tradition has been passed down from grandmother to granddaughter, skipping me altogether. But I am SO alright with that- I love when my daughters do things together. I love listening from the oher room their banter and minor arguments. These two have a new tradition together- like it or not. I can picture 10 to 15 years from now those two getting together with their kids at a big kitchen table (maybe grandma's?) putting together a bunch of gingerbread houses. Remembering the joy and the tears of past house decorating. And wondering if there's enough candy to finish the job this year.

Thanks, dear Lola. Your insatiable appetite started a sweet, sweet tradition for our family.

Now stop drinking from the toilet.

Happy Birthday, Beena!

I was in labor for approximately seven hours. I was a little worried the whole time because my doctor had a reputation for being a "cutter." The last thing I wanted was a C-Section. My mom told me I had nothing to worry about- these hips were MADE for having babies!

So at 4:37 p.m., with no drugs, minimal episiotomy and MUCHO pushing, a nine pound 21-1/2 inch BEENA was brought into this world. This kid had long hair and really long fingernails. I guess that's what happens when you're 10 days late. And I guess that's why I had so much heartburn- the hair "tickled" me. Gotta love the old-wives tales...

So. Here we are 21 years later. And I've got something to say to my eldest daughter.

Beena-

You were our Beanie Baby before they were even invented. When you were born, you scared the crap out of me- I was a new mom, inexperienced with babies of any kind. Thank goodness for your Grandma and Pop-pop. They helped us out caring for you and helped fix up your beautiful little room. The day after you were born (Halloween) the nurses in the hospital spiked your hair up so you looked like a little punk rocker. Nothing could have been furthest from the truth. You were a princess from Day One. No wonder you love Disney!

You always had a quick smile, one that would crinkle up your eyes. You were silly and carefree as a child. Until we took away your Binkie. Then we saw the devil in you. But it was okay- you were still adorable.

You went through so much. Your migraines, your medication, your braces, your expanders, your patches, your glasses. I don't remember you ever breaking down and making too much of a fuss. You took it all pretty much in stride. Even the divorce- you seemed like you accepted being shuttled from one house (ours) to another (Grandma's and Pop-Pop's) to another (your dad's.) You were my calm in my storm. With a great personality to match. Right? Right. Begub. Begub. Begub.

In school you always did well, and was always responsible. Do you remember me marching you around the house to your spelling words? Teachers never had one complaint about you and you were always willing to help out. You even followed in my footsteps and started teaching Sunday School at 16. Is that where you learned to love teaching and children?

You were my right hand at the party place. You were only 14, but you were running the business as if it were your own. The kids loved you. If it weren't for you, there would be no dancing and games at the parties. I was front end, you were back end. I felt terrible being so disorganized- it put you at a disadvantage. I only hope my poor business sense didn't rub off on you. You were truly amazing and I wanted nothing more than to leave that business to you.

Your relationship with Zombiegirl is amazing. I am truly blessed that you two get along so well. She looks up to you and takes in everything you say. Now that she is maturing, she has her own opinions, and her opinion of you is VERY high. She loves hanging with her big sis. And I love you for taking care of your little sis.

You've grown so much the last few years. You've matured and grown into a woman I am proud to call my daughter. Who else would get a tattoo with their mom? Mandee's is lucky to have you. Adelphi is lucky to have you. John is lucky to have you. And we- your Dad, Kelsey and I are lucky to have you.

Happy Birthday, Kristina. I love you and am SO proud of you!

I Remember it Like it was Yesterday

I remember exactly what I was doing 21 years ago today. I was out on Maternity Leave from my first architectural job, patiently waiting for my first-born to show up. It's about ten days late at this point. No matter, though. I'm busy. I have lots to do.

I was the Superintendent of Sunday School for my church, St. Barnabas Lutheran. I had no kids in Sunday School, but I had been a teacher since I was 16, so it was only natural that when the previous Super "retired" I would step in and take her place. I say "retired" because really, can one retire from a volunteer job? And if memory serves correctly, we kind of forced her out- she wasn't really on the ball when it came to running the Sunday School. Big deal, you say? It's once a week on Sunday, learning about Jesus. Yes, but it was a very large Sunday School and she wasn't ordering the materials or doing any of the admin work required. So I usurped her and ended up doing fun stuff like holding a carnival.

On October 30th we were going to have the first Carnival! Since it would be the day before Halloween, all the kids were invited to wear their costumes and come and play games of chance and try for this ENORMOUS teddy bear we were raffling off. Kathy (my best friend at the time and Assistant Superintendent) and I made all the games- bean bag toss, fishing, knock 'em down- about 12 games in all. It was going to be held in the basement of the church. I spent all day today, 21 years ago, up on a ladder hanging streamers and crawling around on the floor placing tape for the games. Kathy realized we didn't have tickets so we went shopping after dinner to Green Acres- Dennison's- and bought tickets and some more prizes.

The basement looked awesome! It was colorful and happy. Our friends were going to run the booths. We had bought the prizes in a wholesale warehouse out in Babylon-stuffed animals, penny prizes, a whole bag of them. I really think this was start of my love of party planning- and I didn't even have kids yet!

I was exhausted by the time we got home. It was really late. My feet hurt from carrying around that extra 25 pounds of baby weight. My back was sore. I didn't mind though- I was 25 years old, in good shape and totally excited for the next day. I went to bed drained, but happy.

At around 3:00 am, I woke up with really bad back pains. They would come and go sporadically. They weren't steady; if they were I would have suspected labor pains. But I didn't think I was in labor- I had things to do!

By 8:00 am they started coming faster and harder. My then-husband called the doctor and it was suggested that I go to the hospital, which was in Syosset, about 45 minutes away. I called Kathy and broke the news to her that I wouldn't be at the carnival and she would have to run it herself. Later I found out how annoyed she was.

To be continued tomorrow...

NaBloPoMo #29- The Yeti is Dead

The joys of having all girls. Hair fights in the mornings, clothes fights in the afternoon, period talk at the dinner table. We've experienced it all. Recently we had "the Talk" with Zombiegirl because they were showing a "body" film in school and I wanted her to be prepared. TMI, Mom. That's what I got when I showed her the "Miracle of Birth" film.

We were on our way to Cheeburger, Cheeburger (review to follow) in Plainview tonight in Dad's truck. MR was in the front and Beena, Z-girl and I were in the back. The AC was blasting and Z-girl was getting goosebumps. Which caused the hair on her legs to stand straight up! Beena and I were amazed at how much hair she had- she was furry! Okay, she's got a great tan and blondish hair but alot of it. When she put her legs into the front seat to show MR, he called her a Wookie. I've had this discussion with some of the other moms (seems this generation is unnaturally hairy) and we've all agreed that it's to early for them to shave. But Beena suggested using Nair on the little Yeti.

I am thankful that Zombiegirl is growing up with an older sister. When I piss her off, and I know I will, it's good to know she can go to her sister, who has a good head on her shoulders. She'll confide more in Beena than with me, and I'm surprisingly okay with that. I don't have a sibling anymore to share my pains and joys so I'm glad the girls have each other. And getting rid of unwanted hair might be a little cooler if she takes it off with her sister instead of her mom. As long as she runs downstairs with a big grin on her face and rubs her legs against mine to show how smooth they are. As long as she still wants to snuggle on the couch- just a little while longer.

NaBloPoMo #11- Mama/Daughter Day

Addendum:

Hey all you tattoo fans! Check out my most awesomest giveaway! Tell me you came here for the tattoo, win a chance at a $100 gift certificate....

My little brother got his first tattoo after his surgery to remove the first cancerous tumor. He was always little rebellious- he had me bleach and perm his hair once. This was the 80's- hair Bands rocked the day! My parents were totally against his getting a tattoo. They threatened to kick him out or disown him. All the nice things parents say when they don't want you to do something.

He comes home with his first tattoo- a blue rose with a banner that says "MOM" on one side and "DAD" on the other.

Mom melted.

He sure knew how to play them! After that, he got two more tattoos- a tiger on his leg and the grim reaper on his shoulder. The rose was on his arm. They were beautiful tattoos. When he passed away from his second round of tumors, we dressed him in a tank top so that his tattoos would show at the funeral. He was 25 years old.

My mom and my brother celebrated their birthdays almost two weeks apart in February. Their birthstones were amethyst. That's why when Beena and I got our tattoos honoring my mom/her grandmother and my brother/her godfather, we requested the cancer ribbon be purple.

We got them last night at Peter Tat2 in West Hempstead on Hempstead Turnpike. John, the Assistant Manager was very patient with us, being virgins and all. Beena chose her inside leg, right above her ankle and I wanted it on my back because if I look at it too much, I'll get sad.

Beena went first, shaking like a leaf. She held my hand and sucked her Jolly Rangers (thanks for the tip, Paula!) It hurt, but my big girl didn't cry! I was so proud of her. I was joking around trying to take her mind off the pain. Halfway through I told her I changed my mind- I wasn't going to get one. She almost jumped out of the chair to strangle me! Twenty minutes later, she was done, wrapped up in a garbage bag (bandage.) My turn. Gulp!

I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt. It did and it was like no other pain I ever felt. I gave birth to BIG babies, with no drugs, so I figured I had a high tolerance for pain. Getting this tattoo was like having my skin flayed off. Slowly. With a hot, rusty knife. Well, not rusty- you can't feel rusty, right? I sucked it up and went into my "happy place" (no, Beena, not the hallway, even though the color does make me happy...) While I was concentrating on the wall patterns, I thought to myself that Mom would've been proud of us. As I think this thought, a tiny, pointy oval of light flickers onto the wall. Two or three seconds and it blinks out. It wasn't a reflection from anything- we were in the back room. I thought maybe John had a laser light on his needle machine, but my body and head would've blocked any light from behind where he was sitting. So I'll just take it as my Mom showed up and gave us her approval. I hope we melted her heart in heaven as well.

So bond with your children. If they tell you they want to get a tattoo instead of threatening to throw them out, go with them! lol! Love you, Beena!

My baby

My oldest, Beena, turns 20 years old today. How is that possible, when just yesterday, I was taking her to Kindergarten? When just yesterday, I was dressing her in a witch costume to go Trick-or-Treating tomorrow? When just yesterday, the dentist said she needed braces?

When did she become the woman I am so proud of?

When did I become old?

This past week, she's had off from work- she works at Mandee's- so she's been hanging around with the family until her boyfriend gets off from work, around 10 o'clock. Usually, since she works retail, I don't see her often. She goes to Adelphi University full time, then works until 10ish, then goes to eat with her BF. She's oftentimes not home until I'm in bed, and if I happen to be up, it's a quick hello, then off to bed. So it's been a real pleasure to have her home, eating with us, watching TV instead of treating home like a hotel. We've actually been able to talk and laugh and shop. I know Zombiegirl misses her if she doesn't see her for a stretch of time. They're very close. Beena even asked if she could go Trick-or-Treating with them tomorrow!

Last night we celebrated her birthday, because the BF has plans with her today- taking her into NYC for dinner and a cruise.

As I'm watching her open her gifts, I'm struck that this kid has grown up into someone special. We talked about how she's doing in school, and what her plans may be when she graduates. She's a math major, with an education minor- she wants to teach High School math! She's currently enrolled in a 5-year program combining her Bachelor's degree with a Master's degree. She still has her faults (she knows my pet peeves, but yet still continues to ignore me when I say anything. I AM still her mother, after all!) and her quirks, but she's developed a maturity that kind of snuck up on me. She's always been mature- she always helped out when Zombiegirl was born, and taught Sunday School, and babysat. I saw her last night however as a peer, or a friend, someone I would like to hang around with. The baby daughter is gone. The woman daughter has arrived.

I love you, Beena! Happy Birthday!

Don't forget the Hump Day giveaway here!