Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

so dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

I had to learn this poem by Robert Frost in Junior High School. Then, when I read "The Outsiders" I came across it again. I think it's a fitting poem for how I'm feeling right now. September came and FLEW by, and I feel like I didn't, once again, get what I wanted to accomplish done. I had such high hopes for this month and here it is the last day and my good intentions sank to grief.

So I continue into October with the projects that I didn't get to in September.

To recap from here:

• I didn't get to St. Andrew's renovation. The weekend I wanted to do it, MR went bear hunting. Then I got a migraine. So hopefully this weekend the last two pieces will be glued in.
• I'm going to work on St. A's website this weekend. My deadline for giving Pastor a template is Monday.
• I finished the ceiling in the hallway...BUT...when I took the blue tape off the wall, it took pieces of the finished wall paint with it. So now I have to touch that up. ETA- tomorrow (Thursday.) After that it's sanding the stairway wall and steps.
• My alteration pile yielded me 3 pairs of capri pants, a fitted shirt and a new skirt. Still left to do are two backpacks that ripped and two pairs of Z-girl's pants to be shortened.
• The sewing room has been organized but not cleaned. There are piles stacked everywhere- I have to invest in more bins. I did clean out the closet and was able to store more crap in there.
• I have not touched my credit report for fear of blowing up my PC. How would I explain that to my boss?

So here I am again. I'll be trying to make these things work out in the next week or so. Then it's clear sailing through my 101 in 1001 goals.

Unless i get kidnapped by aliens.

Results Not Typical

After a week of not working out (migraines, stomach viruses and bronchitis (Mike's, not mine)) I'm finally back to my Tuesday/Thursday routine.

What a difference a week makes.

Today Mike said he would take it easy on me- ease me back into the routine. Well thanks, Mike. If that's easy, I don't want it hard.

After six minutes on the treadmill at 4.0 (still don't know...) we went downstair to this ginormous machine I had to lay down in and do leg presses. Mike took 270 pounds off the machine (6-45lb weights) to leave me with NOTHING but the mechanics. Who the HELL presses 270 lbs? The mechanics felt like 100 pounds- add that to the weights. Geez. Anyway, I did three sets of 12 then fell out of the machine.

Three sets of 12 leg extensions next while he told me about his son trying out for the Milwaukee Brewers. He was eliminated in the 4th round...

Upstairs to chest presses. Three sets of 10 chest presses at 50 lbs. He decreased the weight after I struggled to get the first 10 out.

Next was this little machine right by the office. Stand and press down on the weights, then sit (the seat is slightly tilted forward.) Tricep presses for three sets of 10. After he adjusted my seat (he has to adjust everything because I'm so tall) it was alot harder because I was getting the full range of motion. Now I have spaghetti arms.

Into the free weights area where we used a 6lb. medicine ball for 2 reps of 12 Ab crunches handing the ball off, then crunching without it. Then I near collapse when we do alternating twisting then handing off to Mike while he stands on my feet. I can only do 10 before I sink back and don't get up.

We're done. Everyone knows it. I don't even finish off on the bike.

So because of that, I'll go to the gym tomorrow morning and work out without him.

Monday Tidbits

A very exciting recap of my weekend....

1. Watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I forgot how much I loved this movie and how much I liked John Cameron Mitchell's voice. I looked him up on IMDB and he was born on my birthday. Year AND day.

2. Zombiegirl's team lost to Auburndale 5-2. The other team was really good. Quote during the game- Stan G (Hale's Grandpa) asked if the other team were all going back to home to Nicaragua after the game. Bad grandpa.

3. Z-girl has a better social life than me. AND her sisters. This kid averages two birthday parties a weekend lately. And I'm really proud of her- they are all different circles of friends. She's not confining herself (like her older sister(s)) to one or two friends. Very few of her friends bisect her circles, either. And I'm going broke buying birthday gifts.

4. Reading Dan Brown is like getting a history lesson in under five minutes.

5. I'm slowly getting rid of the crap in my life. To clarify, it's getting harder to find stuff to sell at yard sales. This very well may be my last one. If only it doesn't rain, again.

6. I have way too many crafts started and not enough finished. I booked three craft sales before Christmas, so I have to get a move on.

7. September flew by WAAY too fast. But I'm looking forward to all the things I have to do in October.

8. Mr. and I were talking about Anna Farris last night while watching Family Guy. House Bunny is on tonight. Synchronicity?

9. I need to see Dr. Heredia more often. My migraines are back with a vengance.

10. I now know why my mom's hand were so soft all the time. Frosting made of shortening will make your hands soft and smooth. My cake decorating exploits will be chronicled here shortly.

11. I wish my life would Flashforward six months. Will I be watching Flashforward?

12. It's very hard for someone to say no to 12 girls in soccer uniforms. The guy in the yoga place is a hard-hearted man. A yoga gift certificate would have been wonderful for our raffle basket. His loss. Thanks to the Barber shop, The Witches Brew, Phoenix Chiropractic, Aroma Nails, Gina at Mandee, GNC, Beena, Dad and Rob for their donations to our baskets.

Another exciting weekend. A little cleaning, a little laundry, a little soccer, a little cake. A few crafts and some TV.

And...I want cerviche.

Tomorrow's Leaders

This bugs the crap out of me.

To recap: four men were arrested and one man was sought after a freshman at Hofstra University claimed she was gang-raped on a Sunday night. Supposedly she was lured away from a party, tied up and repeatedly raped by the five men in a bathroom on the men's floor of the dorm.

The men were arrested, their names and faces were in the newspapers, some were fired from their jobs and their families received hate mail.

Good, you may say. They deserved it! They're rapists!

But the weren't. The woman recanted her story, admitted she had group sex with these men and was not tied up. It was consensual. They were released.

This woman (girl) is a Freshman. This is the third week of college.

I understand the fear and uncertainty starting a new school. I didn't dorm while I was at college (although I should have) so I won't pretend I understand how scared a student may be living with strangers, in a strange town. I give my "adopted" kid, Katie, a LOT of credit moving to another state and living away from home. But I've gone to school on my own- meeting new people, new classes, getting lost in a huge environment where I felt very small, very young. I didn't have my parents to help me get situated. They never experienced college, so at the time, I didn't rely on them for any help. And I made mistakes as a Freshman. I admit it. I'm sure we all have. We were young and inexperienced at life, so it was bound to happen.

But...

Did I have group sex three weeks into the semester with men I didn't know? No.

Did I accuse anyone wrongfully, thus ruining lives in my wake? No.

What on earth was this girl thinking? What were these boys thinking? All five of you having sex with one girl? Is this okay? Where were you raised?

I am not a prude. I know sexual things go on in this world that would shock any rational thinking person. I know people have sex. I even know people have group sex. I know teenagers have sex. I know college life, to some, is one big party. But I want to find this girl, and shake some sense into her. You're a Freshman, I want to tell her. Your job is to go to class and learn- not to spread your legs for the whole men's dorm! If you want to fit in- join a club! Try a sport! Group sex is not on the curriculum! I would tell her it's okay to be scared and unsure. Sleeping around though is not going to make you popular or help you make new friends.

So, okay. You did have sex with these men. Why on earth would you accuse them? What is going on in your head to point a finger at innocent people and torture them with jail time?

This is one messed up girl. And she is not going to be charged- she cut a deal with the DA. I only hope that deal includes major therapy for this troubled teenager.

These are our leaders of tomorrow. Our future Master's of the Universe.

The universe has become a very bleak place.

Are You Kidding Me?

Wow- I had to laugh at this...

Just keepin' it real.

As seen in the LA Times article here. And here, showing off her mad Photoshop skillz...

Don't you wish life's wrinkles could just be airbrushed away?

Happy Herbivore Day to Me!

Today is my one year anniversary being a vegetarian. It was a year ago today that I read the book "Skinny Bitch" and it changed my life.

I have had missteps, I'll admit. I calculated that I have eaten meat approximately 20 times in the last year. Beena will say this doesn't make me a vegetarian. I say it's a moment of weakness. Bacon is my downfall. It's a curse. A millstone around my neck and the only thing I truly miss.

So where am I now? I haven't lost ANY weight, but I feel better internally than I have EVER felt in my life. I eat different vegetable (most of them green) and have an ongoing respect for soybeans. If I ever have a few bucks in my pocket, I'll invest in soybeans. Not porkbellies. Why would one even think to invest in porkbellies? I'll have to Google that...

Anyway, I like me a good salad almost as much as you would like a steak.

I now appreciate freshness in my food. Nothing tastes better than fresh, local produce!

I am still falling back on premade veggie burgers, but not nearly as much as I did.

Thank God for Chipotle. And cilantro.

Will I continue on this road paved with spinach and leeks? I think yes. Fall is the best time to be a vegetarian. Pumpkin and squash and apples and root vegetables...to me, that's comfort food.

Cleaning Out My Favorites

I've accumulated a few more websites in my sidebar Favorites that I need to clean out and post here for posterity. If I deem them worthy, I'll add them to my Links I Love list...

People of Walmart. Yes, they exist. And our future is bright.

The Art of the Takedown. Snarkiness at it's best.

The Bitch Sessions. More snark. I love snark.

Awkward Family Photos. Oh, be prepared. I have a lot of pictures to send them!

Emails from Crazy People. I think some of the people from Walmart wrote these.

Passive Agressive Notes. More craziness. I think some of these people work in my office.

Tacky Weddings. (There is a definite theme going on here. Crazy people!) No explanation necessary.

100 Days to Christmas. Start planning. Now. Enjoy a stress-free holiday.

Foodgawker. Pretty pictures of food. No crazy people.

Up next- all the videos I have saved in my favorites.

I bet you can't wait...

Chronosync 2000

My hubby has a new post up on his blog. Go there now. Chronosync 2000. He mentions his lovely wife!

The Planets Sometimes Align

I'm a klutz. I forget things. I am not a lucky person. I frown a lot. I tend to be negative. I tend to criticize. I can't help it. I don't want to be these things. I try to be upbeat and positive. But sometimes life just beats me down.

But sometimes all is right in the Universe. Sometimes the planets align. Sometimes good karma comes around and blesses you with its presence.

And sometimes, if you're not truly aware, you'll miss it.

Like today. I had a migraine that caused me to weep several times at work. It finally subsided enough for me to function like a true human. Shortly after, as I left work for home, things started going "my way."

Nothing earth shattering. Nothing life changing. Just little things lining up to make my life easier, happier. Catching the F train right away and getting a seat. Waiting on the LONGEST bus line I ever waited on and having two buses pull up at the same time so the people at the end of the line got on the second bus first. Getting a seat on the bus. Realizing you don't have your house keys and hoping Beena's home. Seeing Beena approaching you walking to work but realizing it's someone else who left your life. Seeing that person looking well, even if they didn't make eye contact. Getting home and finding your keys in your bag. Starting dinner and realizing you have EVERY SINGLE ingredient. Timing dinner perfectly for when soccer practice is over and the family walks in the door. Having everyone go back for seconds and thirds.

Big, hairy deal, you might say. These things are MINOR. Is your life so messed up that these things make you happy? No. My life is not messed up. Just annoying, sometimes. And when these things work out positively, I notice.

So thanks, Karma. I appreciated the nice touch today. Really. I might just be in a better mood tomorrow because of it!

Shots are on Me!

10/15/09 addendum...for an update on the wicked Diva Cup, go here.

Warning: May contain material not suitable for men, persons with weak stomachs and Beena, who despises all body fluids, especially other people's fluids. Dad, please don't read this post. I don't want you looking at me funny next time you come for dinner...

This post was started on Thursday, but I sunk into such a deep funk all I could do was lay on the couch and eat cheesecake. So much for working out... so I finished the post on the weekend.

I should have written this post last night. Last night I was happy and excited. Last night I was feeling adventurous. Today, not so much. Today, as I stated earlier, I'm cranky and irritable. Now- even more so. It's been a bloody mess of a day. Literally.

Why was I so happy last night? Because I got my period.

Wait, what? Weren't you all for punching Eve in the head for eating the apple? You hate your period. Why were you happy you got it?

Because, my friends, I GOT THIS.

No, it's not a shot glass. It's the Diva Cup.

See? Happy Diva Cup!

And I couldn't wait to use it. No more tampons! No more pads! No more spending money on feminine products!

Last night, before Meet the Teacher night at Zombiegirl's school, I quick shoved it in (how hard could it be? I've used tampons...) and ran out to the car. I sat down next to MR, and...ran back into the bathroom. You see, the Diva Cup has this nub on the bottom so you have something to grab to pull it out. But the way my cup was situated, the nub was partially out and rubbing and poking in all the wrong places. So I pushed the cup back in as far as it would go and hoped my body wouldn't reject this foreign object.

Meet the Teach went well (I really like Z-girl's teacher- Mr. S) and I went to the bathroom as soon as I got home. Aw crap. I leaked. I spent the next hour fiddling and prodding my insides to make this thing fits. I finally got so disgusted I took it out, washed it and put it in it's little carrying pouch.

The next day I wore it to work, after inserting it in the shower. By the time I got to work, I was walking like I had a load of poop in my pants because the thing slipped so low and caused leakage. Not only was I battling cramps I was depressed because the thing I wanted so much to work wasn't working. I want to be green! Instead, I was red. I want to save the landfills and not put pads and tampons in them! Instead, I was falling back on these reliable feminine products. Determined, I hobbled to my desk and googled "Diva Cup leakage."

Okay! I'm not the only one with this problem! There's a whole message board of poor women leaking! Seems I was putting it in wrong. After folding it into itself, and inserting, you have to twist it 360 degrees and check to see if it unfolded. Armed with this new knowledge, and a roll of paper towels, I headed back to the ladies room to try again.

Fast forward 20 minutes later. My cup is in but...the stall looks like a slaughterhouse. I don't think there was a surface in that stall that I didn't christen in blood. Thank goodness I brought in the paper towels to clean up...but they're bloody too, and I can't flush them. I sit down to wait until the bathroom is empty to throw them away in the trash.

How much blood does the Diva Cup website say you lose a month? Three to four ounces? It looked like a crime scene in that stall. And I was only on my first 12 hours...

I run out of the bathroom and to the pantry and grab the cleaning spray and pray no one goes into that stall. It's wiped up, but until the HazMat team gets there I'm grossed out that someone else will use it and it's not perfectly clean. While running back the Diva Cup slipped a millimeter, but still holds. I sanitize the bathroom, and my hands and go back to work.

I'd like to say the rest of the day was leak-free but I can't- I did leak slightly by the time I commuted two hours home. Nothing major and pantyliner caught it. When I got to the comfort of my own bathroom I washed and set about taking it out. Yes, it does make a champagne pop noise if you don't break the seal first. And yes, it is possible to dump the contents of the entire cup backwards into your underwear when it slips out of your fingers. But I will not give up. I will be the master of my Diva Cup. I suggest the following:

• Since the cup can stay in for 12 hours, insert and remove while in the shower. It's easier to clean everything up and who doesn't like a nice warm shower after a hard day working while you have your period?
• Buy the Diva Wash. I'm glad I did. I use it to wash my hands before playing around up there.
• Always check the cup after insertion. If you feel any indentations, it's not fully unfolded.
• Cut a portion of the nub off. I tried it again on Saturday after I clipped the nub and it was much more comfortable.
• Don't give up. Don't get discouraged. If you know your body, you'll be able to master this.

I hope to be able to use the Diva Cup when we go hiking the Appalachian Trail, camping and swimming with Z-girl. Thoughts of carrying out tampons and pads while hiking, or strings sticking out of my bathing suit absolutely terrifies me.

Yeah, and the sight of that bloody stall didn't? Yes, it did. I'm not the horror-movie freak in the family. That distinction belongs to MR and Zombie-girl...